A dimly lit room
typical bar room glow
Maybe, candles flickering
– couldn’t tell you…
mood lighting keeps things soft,
keeps life from appearing
…to harsh as per Blanche DuBois
Music playing something
in the background  –
for ambiance?
Maybe not…
I’m never sure of much
when my focus
is slightly off kilter
Anxiety rises,
pulse generates a buzz
Can you hear it?
Heart races – I’m a blurred vision to few
Can you see me?
It’s stressful being
misunderstood;
naturally
cool and aloof
not cold and pretentious
…it’s – it’s an art form
It is an outfit,
an accessory…
An ingrained
way of being
A minimalistic disguise;
cloak and dagger,
camouflage sequenced,
hocus pocus,
glittered razzle dazzle,
calling your bluff…take a breath!
Silent scream to god…
For what?
For help?
A shift from a grown
confident woman
to an introverted
shy baby girl…
In high heels – red lipstick
and someone else’s clothes  –
It’s a mismatched pair of socks,
out of my comfort zone
out of my element
train wreck
no second chances
I need second chances…
Wishes blown
to the universe – fall flat
Wooden Rosary beads – worn thin
This is a new starting point?
A new place to begin?
Some how there remains
and I’m not sure why…
Call it my belief,
call it my naiveté,
call it fucked up…sigh…
Call it what you will…
I know it,
I own it –
Clearly and unquestionably
There is yet another chapter
to be written…
about you and me ~

© 2016 TrilbyYates