Christmas Songs

Tis the season, yes, tis the season
for joy, strength, purity of heart, purity of faith
unity in family, friends old and new
sharing and giving unconditional love
…yet there is a distance in the feel
of the Christmas songs
– at least for me
a detached sense of how blessed
we are all supposed to be
when the world is exploding
walls going up, fear and hate soaring
the eagles fly high – the eagle flies alone
and the baby’s cry and a child’s scream
mother, father, sister, brother
running into harms way instead of into the arms
of someone familiar, someone who shares – the same bloodline
maybe they are not hiding on my street
or bleeding in my city but there is a haunting howl
that penetrates and scars the purity of a holy night
and there is no sleep or restful place in my home
the sounds are loud, the sounds are clear,
deafeningly loud and crystal clear
the cry is there for all to hear – where do I belong
and what if we don’t, what if we tune out
turn up the volume on Christmas songs
drowning out the cries; what if we choose
to remain detached – and distant
wrapped in the warmth, wrapped in the safety
of our own homes; not knowing where I belong
what if we choose to close our hearts,
and block the sounds that are drowning out –
…the Christmas songs

© 2016 TrilbyYates

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Unnoticed

I am a song long and hollow
I sway when I close my eyes
standing on a cliff – foot slip
into an abyss
of whimsical rhetoric
I am the last tick
on a 10 step check list
recovery and redemption
my heart held in sanctuary
with a plausible view into the future
I wait for no one and stand alone
not by choice rather self preservation
in the 3rd order of the 3rd kind
going unnoticed standing still
auto rewind…and you?

By-pass generated mirrored reflection
double back ask a question
hear a song long and hollow
eyes close body swaying
foot on a cliff half slip
…into the whimsy of a rhetorical abyss

© 2016 TrilbyYates

I Cry For You

Walking out knee deep
Fluid reflections glimmer
Walking out shifting sandbar
Low tide is a slow rise
The moon sits stoically
On a fine line drawn
Across the horizon
And I can only imagine
What is beyond the curve
Of this narcissistic planet – Earth
Or the destination of shooting stars
First hand knowledge burn out
Slips beneath my own personal radar
The way love vanishes mysteriously
Into the stillness of a dark night
Or shutters as the light of day
Seeps into creases of awareness
Sudden winds blow like a cold slap
Chilling the hearts of lonely lovers
A harsh realization…bitter sweet
The dance leaves me senseless
Leaves me empty
…I cry for you
East coast rainy Saturday
Music playing in the background
Lyrics that hit home
Lyrics I should have written
Back when life wasn’t so convoluted
Flipping from page to page
Familiar visions old photos
Memories open the flood gates
To those no longer here
Outside of this sphere
Loved ones that touched my heart…changed my life
Loved ones and friends interchangeable affections
East coast rainy Saturday
Leaves me empty
…I cry for you

© 2016 TrilbyYates

It’s Alright

Sometimes…
it feels like
I live in
a parallel universe
Perception
bent and twisted
perception skewed
But it’s alright
not sure what else to say…
When I turned around
you were holding
your hands up
waving a white flag
total surrender
looking at me
with a blank expression
and I had to look away
But it’s alright
not sure what else to say…
A cool north wind blew
when I needed some
fresh air to breathe
there is no return
there is no reprieve
Like a warm gun
pointed at my head
I’m star gazing
covered by an open sea
wrapped around me
like a wave
I’m looking directly
into the sun
and I’m drifting away
drifting far far away
But it’s alright
not sure what else to say…
When I turned around
you were holding
your hands up
waving a white flag
total surrender
looking at me
with a blank expression
and I had to look away
But it’s alright
not sure what else to say…
it’s alright babe
not sure what else to say
there is no tomorrow
letting go of yesterday…

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Music Time

I fell in love with a boy
who held music in his hands
like a fragile thought
that could easily slip away
it filled his heart
like there was never
enough time
for all the notes to play
making his chest ache
the way mine did
every time we kissed
each others lips
making love
on the music room floor
searching for inspiration
knowing it was only
moments away
nothing seemed beyond our reach
so we would wait
and watch the sunrise
slowly coming up and over the city streets
there is such beauty in the breaking of dawn
hitting high notes within the perfection
of a continuous and endless line
listening closely until we couldn’t – dance any more
…remember my name – he’d say
I would look deep into his eyes
while strumming my guitar
never missing a note
his face etched in the most cherished
place in my mind and we both knew
I was his and he was mine
we would be forever – connected in music time

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Hiding In The Shadows

Hiding in the shadows
of my room
with the door closed
– listening to the sounds
listening to the sounds
with my hands up against the wall

And off in the distance
I hear you running
down the hall
shouting words
words of warning and well wishes
completely delusional

Standing in my room
with the door closed
– listening to the sounds
there isn’t much left to do
how can I stand by
how can I help you

When all has been taken
and too often forgotten
straight forward implications
double handed speculations

And you are running
down the hall
shouting words
words of warning and well wishes
completely delusional

Two fist-ed revelations
Tower of Babble communications
There is nothing I can do
how can I stand by
how can I help you…

Hiding in the shadows
of my room
with the door closed
– listening to the sounds
listening to the sounds
with my hands up against the wall

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Dear Life,

Is this the way it’s suppose to be?
The way it’s supposed to play out?
My mind is telling me one thing…
but time doesn’t seem to be on my side
I’m kicking and screaming
being dragged through life
scuff marks on my hands and knees –
Is this really the way it’s going to be?
The way it’s supposed to play out?
I’m kicking and screaming,
broken arms and broken legs –
Heart fails and shock sets in
Does it seem to matter much?
Hey I’ll tell you what – you can sit on the side line
and watch the show
I’ll even supply the popcorn and balloons
a side show with music and a harp player
But, but I promise you,
I’ll tell you straight up,
I’m hanging on for dear life
barely hanging on for dear life
Is this really the way it’s supposed to be?
The way it’s going to play out?
If I had known this long ago
I may have already checked out…
I may have already checked out;
taken that short walk with rocks in my pockets
The cold waters surrounding me,
the cold waters taking me down
kicking and screaming
scuff marks on my hands and knees –
You my friend can sit on the side line
and watch the show;
I’ll even supply the popcorn and balloons
a side show with music and a harp player
But, but I promise you my friend,
I’ll tell you straight up
I’m hanging on for dear life
…barely hanging on for dear life

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Looking Out To Sea

It was something
something out of a movie scene
From Here To Eternity
we were laying in the sand
tide came up rushing over us
all entangled arms and legs
finger tips tracing
a pathway to the soul
your mouth on mine
whispering words
…you are so beautiful
so beautiful…
kissing my neck
gentle hands
holding me close
eyes closed
sensations like a hot wire
and I heard a voice say
I love you
I love you…
and realized it was mine
in that moment time stopped
the tide went out
and didn’t come back in
and we were standing
looking at each other
you had such a puzzled look
on your face
a puzzled look
and I apologized
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I didn’t mean to say that
I don’t love you
I like you
I care about you
but I don’t love you…like that
you just stood there
with a puzzled look
on your face
and I knew
it was not you I saw
it was him
and I’m sorry for that
it wasn’t you I was looking at
it was him
and the tide went out
and didn’t come back in
and I was standing there alone
looking out to sea
looking out to sea

© 2016 TrilbyYates

So Many Places We Can Go

Change always comes
and I spend my summers
flying high without a care
I have to
or I wouldn’t survive
so now with a clean slate
baby you look
like someone
I used to know
someone
I used to know
someone
I need to know
and even though
every thought
is black and blue
shaded colors like a bruise
the center of the universe
holds more for us
it holds more for us –
Lovers come and lovers go
but when they dare reach
deep inside and don’t hesitate,
when they feel that bounce back
reflection mirrored image
black and blue
the center of the universe,
yes,
the core of the universe
between me and maybe you…
we have to know
It’s worth even those moments
all those moments
when we are on our knees;
bloody sweat soaked t-shirt
tells another story,
wrapped tightly
around the main source
of heartache –
Come on it’s an apocalypse,
it’s that slippery slope
we’ve come to know
it’s that slippery slope
we’ve been warned about
Put your arms around me,
and hold me close
close your eyes
kiss me deeper
than we bury our dead,
kiss me until
you reveal your soul –
steal mine if you like
it’s yours to own
Put your arms around me,
and hold me close
close your eyes,
close your eyes
there are so many places we can go
there are so many places we can go…

© 2016 TrilbyYates