The Heart

The dance; slow, seductive willful – a waltz
each time I melted into the grove with ease

intuition, twinges of betrayal – dissipate
the way the sun would rise; radiance, hope

questa volta sarà diverso…

potential, a brighter tomorrow. I close my eyes
and move with each step, leaving the past

another time – always with anticipation
morning Uber ride down the west side

a glance, passing “our” place The Dead Poet
letting myself drift into pleasant memories

full blown emo techno color; details; a nod,
his eyes connecting with mine, his hand; gentle

on my waist, a drink, smiles, a kiss; photo captures
moments. hand in hand we walk; 85th Street

feeling jazzed, connected, happy. #7. relax
music fills the room, candle light glows casting

only our shadows; no intrusion, no hesitation
just sway, just sway, just sway, just sway

sometimes he would play the guitar
sometimes he would sing and dance

sometimes we would move to the music
sometimes getting lost in the rhythm

passion was a two step slow motion; intentional
surrender, falling onto his bed, sex, make love

an act of attraction, of affection, of caring?
gentle wake up, A.M. coffee in bed; his t-shirt

…once under the Hudson a knot forms in the
pit of my stomach and my heart strings tighten

like a noose around my neck and within minutes
it’s as if Nostradamus is whispering in my ear…

once again, repeat, once again, repeat, once again;
dread sets in; a weight gain, a tinder box, haunted

by my own mantra; I am worthy, I am worthy
of love, respect; I am beautiful, I am unique

doubt, a saboteur – another chip to my heart

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