Tomorrow

Your hand pressed against mine
Mirroring palm to palm
The length of your fingers
Make me feel small, vulnerable
Your eyes are like an anchor
Pulling me under; tidal-wave undertow
Last breath confession love – I don’t need you
But when night falls like the heart does
I’ll want you to stay close
Wrapping your arms around me, blue blanket
Yet your love is like a warm gun,
The metaphor isn’t lost on us
We can keep a candle lit and make a wish
Knowing tomorrow just might fulfill
Nostradamus doomsday prediction
And your whispers sooth the child’s mind
As the Bluesman steel guitar slide and harp hums
You promise tomorrow will never come –
But it does, it always does…until it doesn’t

©2019 TrilbyYates

Dating Site Pause

Drop down distance 50 mile radius
I remain geographically undesirable
Age range is a throwback
Reminiscent of my youth
Always dated older men
I’m sure Freud would have a field day
Challenging whose fault I am
But now I’ve tightened the circle
Fear based sense of loss I couldn’t bear again
Nothing is a sure bet, right?
Could get hit by a car walking
Down the boulevard (I love that word)
– or a plane could fall out of the sky…
Body type remains a stumbling block
My heart has always leaned more into the wind
All the particulars, the nonnegotiables
Line up categorically; check the boxes
Maybe, no way, sometimes, never
Profiles in courage fact or fiction?
A toss of the dice, a leap of faith
Someone once said, if you can’t dazzle them
with your intellect, baffle them with your BS
In 500 words or less master of reveal/conceal
The law of attraction a visual score card
A photo speaks or screams volumes
Point of reference like a magnet
Verifiable stress tester button pushing ego bender
Expand your horizons or you’ll never know
Unless you jump
Unless you click
Unless you trust
Unless you swipe….left or right

©2019 TrilbyYates

Feathered Wings

Days spent, medical world; I never felt the passion
Hands of the clock drag around, baggage tossed like coins
into the Fontana di Trevi – I still prefer gelato; anytime of day
But, life has its own plan, agenda
And I could just blame it on circumstance
birth place, date and time; full moon or not
Maybe it’s a New York thing or being middle class
in a Westchester town that never truly knew
all the potential it held within its gentrified streets
Surrounded by lakes and power boats; the dark side
Learned how to sail on one of those lakes
– and for the first time I knew what it felt like to breathe
And that I could never remain humble or satisfied
marrying the boy next door with a town job
Nothing wrong with getting your hands dirty
But, the dirt I wanted under my nails;
glowed like magic dust sprinkled in my hair
with a touch of bad-ass quirkinesses
Spent life punching my way out and taking every single hit
as just another diamond in my crown
Another feather in my wings
Admittedly, stepping up to the edge; looking out,
eyes closed and wondering if my days
here were worth the juxtaposed angst
and personal pride…
…and would I be remembered?

©2019 TrilbyYates

Rewind

Cloth folds perfection in the creases piled high anxiety I breathe in – deep exhaling the pain out that chokes so much
of what remains running through my veins even when
I’m semi-comatose to the daily grind and flowers are tossed in the trash day two wilt don’t worry there will always be more tomorrow when a lover steps across the line windowsill leap of faith trusting the absence of rejection and do I in my aloofness trip up with a kiss so deep the question posed for another day lands squarely in the answer
– it will come when needed the most
skipping stones frozen waters run deep and I’m just slipping from day to day the deepest moments rise up faithfully
maybe it’s the solitude the warmth the quiet my life in snippets and I recall his hand as it squeezed mine and whispers – babe are you still there
stumbling not sure why harsh words interrupted bliss
not an excuse but a thought possibility contemplate examining ever single thread that formed the ultimate widows web
but I’ve lost something…focus I suppose sky high saints and sinners angel wings a reminder – how far I’ve fallen
while on bended knee I entertain begging for forgiveness but
circle around around rewind rewind

©2018 TrilbyYates

Leaning Into the Wind

Standing with arms out-stretched leaning into the wind
my footing slips, eyes closed – images cascade
just like a waterfall in slow motion, color burst; shades of blue
one, two, three, four tumbling, tumbling; how can I ignore
all that has passed from dirt to dust tossed into the air
nothing more, nothing more than what is lost; what is there
for good luck I wear a red thread around my ankle
as if that and a rabbit’s foot might lift the dark clouds
that hang over me; around, surround me
maybe when the sense of you dissipates into a light mist
cloaked in more than sorrow; grief chokes me
but like a thorn in my crown, angst and heartbreak
there’s nothing standing behind me
or in my way to take a leap of faith
damned if I do and who knows if I don’t
there’s always that space, that hidden place
far corner of my mind – whispers, fuck it, tomorrow

Dreamscapes littered with all the unsung lyrics I’ve written,
and I still can’t sing when the lights are on or off
the words, notes, drumbeats that skip like stones
fragile sentiments; haunting, shallow, grasping at straws
the baseline shuffles; slow step and grind to four
strings on a violin stretch, snap and God waves a hand
across the Sound, my heart beats, always a bit out of sync
even though it’s only an echo bouncing back and forth;
I am well aware of my missteps, side shuffles and glides
I am well aware I have remained a wounded child my entire life

©2018 TrilbyYates

Sisterhood

You might call me denigrating names
Names, like sticks and stones
Could break my bones
Yet never truly touch me
Names you would not call
Your mother, sister, wife or daughter
Or maybe, just maybe you would
You could try to hold me back
…or attempt to hold me down
And if by some cosmic twist of fate
Cause the untimely death of me
My voice will remain a reflective echo
Bouncing from me to her, you to me and back again
Carried by a consistent and sacred breeze
My spirit and the strength of who I am
Will saunter with intention and pride
Held boldly with precious regard
Held high by strong feminine arms
Preservation of a united heartbeat
Clarity in our eyes for all our children to see
And every morning bursting into a sunrise
With the remaining burn of a shooting star
The continuous stirring of a lovers last kiss
Tapping into a lingering memory or hell bent angst
Electrifying womanly sentiment of who I am
With resolve remaining faithful
To the words heard in a distant song
Penetrating our thoughts and soul
For nothing less than an eternity
A familiar feeling that washes over the universe
While the world is painfully out of sync
In need of a harmonic balance and gentle bend
Look towards me, reach for me;

I am the Sisterhood

©2018 TrilbyYates

Pressed Against My Soul

Deep sleep dreams slip from an image to a place
Lost in time travel, yet it all makes sense
Moment to moment, breath to breathless, deepest solitude
Once I climbed a mountain high, stood at the summit
Reached up, stretched finger tips and grabbed the sun
The only burn I felt was my ego as it shifted
From my brain to my deeply wounded heart
A profound moment shared, one survivor to another
But suddenly like the flip of a switch everything changes
Lessons lived, lessons learned – far to many bridges burned
Pavlov’s dog howls at the moon and the earth sounds an alarm
Scenic view topples into a seductive Reggaeton beat
What matters is how the body moves within a Latino vibe
Memories are glimpses of a time passed and I will stand alone
Bounce back comes around, lands squarely in the palm of my hand
I reach around on bended knee take a vow to up hold my truth
The truth as I know it. The truth as I hold it, unfold it
Shadows sweep over me and off in the distance I can see
It’s been a long time love – I’ve never forgotten your scent
Almost seems like you never drifted away in the light of day
Wrapped in a blanket on a fall night late October
Tears cascade; in the distance the sound of the ocean roars
A solemn reminder time is fluid without boundaries
A kiss as real as your touch; I literally fall into your arms
You held me so close I can still fell your heart
Beating in my chest, intertwined rhythmic bend
Don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t; we fade and like a fire
Light slips disrupting what can’t be except on those
Rare occasions when the Sandman adds a little extra magic
Conjuring up sweet heart felt moments that last for days
I can still feel the warmth of you pressed against my soul…

©2018 TrilbyYates

Sunrise Rush

There is something
about the early morning light
the way is bounces and throws
patterns lacy images
shadowy dancing lovers
reminders of times and moments
held so dear my chest aches
held without reason or clarity
purity of the senses
and every song that ever mattered
in my adolescence
playing on an auto rewind
flip switch non-gender sensitive spin-off
and some where out in the distant fog
I can hear a horn blow
and Tom Waits grumbles
something profound; never missing the mark
Yes I wish I had written a line or two
in honor of my own invitation to the blues
or at the very least
a clearer imaginary image
of me and you

Three something in the morning a seagull flies by
hit and run grabbing what it can,
comfort food ahead of the sunrise rush ~

©2018 TrilbyYates

Into The Blue

Sun down, moon rise; sleep comes with a price
And as I drift off reluctantly; I am captivated
Imagery shifts black and white to color
Shadows and night-life illuminate as candles glow
Sweet music shifts and shuffles with ease
I move from my comfort zone cautiously;
…Even dreams can not escape morals or shame
We slip away for a moment as if yesterday
Were a tangible sequence in our dance – all have been forgiven
Years have gone by, a harsh but truthful reality
– that never seems to dissipate
And can only be interrupted by chance
– or a blessing from above
A memory. An image. A breeze that carries a sense of you
And unlike an annoyance it cannot be brushed away
I am submerged in a dream state and happiness washes over me
We step forward. I can feel your touch, see your eyes
Your embrace sets me free. A kiss…is worth more words than I hold
And while we surrender to this imaginary space –
…as in any dream-scape the scene shifts
I find myself across the way and angst fills my chest
Here and there, chatting with him and her;
– waiting and watching…pulse rises as fear becomes my twin
Making my way I press through the crowd – greetings and smiles;
– a familiar face, strangers and friends

Peering from the 2nd floor I wonder what winter is like in Tribeca

As I weave in and out of rooms and hallways; nods of recognition
– you disappear from my view
I can feel my heart racing…I can’t lose you, I cannot lose you…not again
Standing on the porch, magically night turns to day
Staring out into the blue, I am helpless
A weakness consumes me and just as I’m almost engulfed
With the pain of a splitting heart being torn in two
I feel a hand gently touch my shoulder
As I turn…it is you
You wrap your arms around me; tears fall, I can barely utter
…I couldn’t find you, I thought you were gone
Your words like a lover’s song touches a secret part of me
Once again a warm breeze and the wings of angels flutter

“I never left you…”

©2018 TrilbyYates