Dear Life,

Is this the way it’s suppose to be?
The way it’s supposed to play out?
My mind is telling me one thing…
but time doesn’t seem to be on my side
I’m kicking and screaming
being dragged through life
scuff marks on my hands and knees –
Is this really the way it’s going to be?
The way it’s supposed to play out?
I’m kicking and screaming,
broken arms and broken legs –
Heart fails and shock sets in
Does it seem to matter much?
Hey I’ll tell you what – you can sit on the side line
and watch the show
I’ll even supply the popcorn and balloons
a side show with music and a harp player
But, but I promise you,
I’ll tell you straight up,
I’m hanging on for dear life
barely hanging on for dear life
Is this really the way it’s supposed to be?
The way it’s going to play out?
If I had known this long ago
I may have already checked out…
I may have already checked out;
taken that short walk with rocks in my pockets
The cold waters surrounding me,
the cold waters taking me down
kicking and screaming
scuff marks on my hands and knees –
You my friend can sit on the side line
and watch the show;
I’ll even supply the popcorn and balloons
a side show with music and a harp player
But, but I promise you my friend,
I’ll tell you straight up
I’m hanging on for dear life
…barely hanging on for dear life

© 2016 TrilbyYates

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Holy Resemblance

Slight of hand with a side twist of fate
smoke and mirrors up in a puff vaporize
shifting grey eyes
grab a hold of what is near and dear
only one that gets out alive
is the Svengali in us all
with hands thrust deeply
in the back pocket of our neighbors
while holding a knife to the jugular
serial killers our partners in crime
sitting at the head of the table
cloth napkin falls to the floor
glances shoot subtle wish
never more never more
you lose either way willing
or unable
glass ceilings crack
at the thought of redemption
and there is a lack
of satisfaction when only a few
have the formula to what’s what
and how to get off without leaving a trace
and I look to your perfection
without question or concern
without biblical connection
like a wide eyed wonder child
from the hippie-drone era
non committal paradox
trapped in the four corners
of our flawless microcosm
cardboard latch key box
tipping the scales of justice
we look out with an air of superiority
our society’s majority is made up of a minority
that requires everyone else
turn the other cheek and trust us
as if we are the keepers of this world
pretending that the other side of the moon
bears witness to none
to all that we have to hide
all that we have done
behind closed doors shades drawn
you recall the sense of being
nothing less than a saboteurs pawn
an impossibility if one believes solely
in a greater power grand source
creator of all that is holy
left handed gun raised firing the final shot
…resembling all that we are not

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Death

So yes, I have hit the wall
– many times
I’ve reached down
in the darkness and found
the bottom was still
another 100 feet below me
and all I can say
with a hint of ambivalence
“…man what a trip, what a journey…” 

And all the introspective chatter
and cliches passing thru the test of time
held with the highest regard phrases
don’t hold an ounce of truth
when the light at the end of the tunnel
is a taunting echo of yourself

Self help mumbo jumbo
new age movement
authors and prophets of old
who keep their secrets
closely protected
within their well guarded heart
while all along holding the key
to their own mysteries
…yet to be solved

And the passions rise
when a nerve is struck
over and over again
their truth is well earned
from their own rock bottom
bouncing realizations
when a light bulb moment
goes off the crowd kneels
and we all know it is
just another oxymoron
but enlightens those in the dark
without question none the less

Once again I am
in a free fall
seeing a lot of familiar faces
along the way
– and yet
there is still no comfort
in the masses
and self pity is as destructive
as falling on your own
proverbial sword
– it’s all a ploy
a way to make sense
of the inevitable
to maintain the purity of faith
in the smile of excellence
on your face
that it is sincere
and not a reflection
of one foot already planted
firmly in the ground of fear

And that’s not for me
I’m just saying man
that is not my way out
my ashes will blow
across the wide open sea
that sweet spot
where land never
reaches the eye
– carried by angels
and when the time is right
they will kiss me off
into the wind I’ll float
high above what was
once my reality

And in the distance
a comforting voice
will be heard
whispers of welcome
and a warm hand
will reach out and touch
that one remaining particle
the ultimate human being
…death needs no introduction

© 2016 TrilbyYates

Walking On Shallow Water

Walking on shallow water
Out in a deep blue sea
Sweeping transparent views
Earth and all its brilliance
A distant shining light
For the lost and lonely
Draped in silk spun cloth
Spun the way tales are
Carefully weaved
Tight intricate knots
The High and Mighty
Swirling poignant scent
Of blessed incense
Permeating the air
Crown of Thorns
Pressing down
While judgement bleeds
Dripping from generation
To generation with no reprieve
Rosary beads in hand
Finger tips holding tight
Sensory perception
Pathway to Heaven
Rosary beads dangle religiously
Sway gently around my neck
Choke back the tears
Choke back the words
Don’t speak of doubt
Don’t ever question
All that I once believed
Words that I can recite
With eyes closed
Head bowed down
Drifting off peacefully
A holier than thou – sleep
…Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum
Where were you Mary
When I needed you
A motherless child
Faith in the abstract
Faith in the disbelief
That all is not lost
Or forever forgotten
Walking on shallow water
Draped in silk spun cloth
All in the name
Of the abstract
Faith in the disbelief
That all is not lost
Or forever forgotten

As I drift further
and further out to sea
repeating over and over
… Ave Marie, gratia plena, Dominus tecum
Ave Marie, gratia plena, Dominus tecum

© 2015 TrilbyYates

Angel Women

you look
at
Me
Us
Them
with distaste
that lingers
and always
falls away
with an echoing
vibration
sounds of
objection
rejection
a judgment
of values
integrity
who are you
to place
the burden
of your own
dysfunction
lacking
onto
a generation
of Angel Women
with Wings
of Gold
that carried us
from sticks and stones
in the past
to the heights of Grace
for a bright future
who are you
to not
question
but instead
to answer
with words
of hate
debasing slap
that reveals
more about
you than
Me
Us
Them
in what
dark place
do you roam
where
words flow
with ease
severing heart strings
cuntpussyslutwhore
turning the heat
of passion
flames of love
to humiliation
denigrating
an entire gender

where do you linger
where do you crawl….

© 2016 Trilby

Nothing More

Death doesn’t knock
before entering
unexpected guest
comes to call
whispers gentle shush
soft breeze
leaving just the slightest
chill on the cheek
incomplete bargaining
back and forth
ready or not
sometimes
maybe
no
undetermined peacefulness
awaiting
off in the distance
the unknown throws
lovely shadows
on us all
fear not
what is on
the other side
of nothingness
we wallow
in our childhood
often religiously
prompted rhetoric
baby angel
wings playfully
brush against
our core
reminding us
there is nothing
to be afraid of
when there is nothing
more…

© 2016 Trilby

Saving Grace

There is a time
and place
for everything
And when
there is a cold rain
falling
dragging me down
bringing me down
comfort zone
sanctuary
I stand alone
– Saving Grace 
Off in the distance
my sins are being
washed away
On my knees
praying to – someone
for relief
and who can tell
when there is
nothing left
or worthy
of the next exhale
or depth
of the next breath
Who will throw
the first stone
or have it all
for Heaven sake
– Saving Grace 
There is a time
and place
for everything
And when
there is a cold rain
falling
dragging me down
bringing me down
comfort zone
sanctuary
I stand alone
 Saving Grace

© 2015 TrilbyYates