Conversation With Self


A conversation with self…yes, I get tired. Yes, I slip in and out of total disbelief…still, almost how many years later? Yes, I question what it all means. Yes, I wonder what my future holds. And yes, I fear the thought of moving forward and the thought of not…

I dream of a music man who can share a song that will touch my heart and soul, bring me to tears of joy, won’t interfere with yesterday and leave me with a smile of the promise for a wonderful tomorrow.

When does the tide turn, the up side of the down? Will a light go on like the flip of a switch…sudden awakening? Does the joy of life wash over me once again like a tidal wave? Or is this it…is this the simple black and white of it all. I’ve had love, lost love…let love go – and the hand of fate stepped in opening one door and slamming another closed. And now I wonder…and I question…and I’ve lost faith, short of the “man in the moon” who has no place to hide just hanging around up in the cosmos always with a wise ass grin – knowing more and telling less.

Slick kitschy diner
silver shell
hangs on the corner of
Avenue this and
Avenue that
but no one cares
who you’re waiting for
when Godot
never shows his hand
maybe a snap
of the finger
and a twist of fate
will change the scene
lending to sad songs
on a juke box
swallowing coin
like an old time toll booth
on the turnpike of life
pre-E-ZPass and
this isn’t east coast
verses west or
upstate seeming too close
to Deliverance
for any native New Yorker
with a touch of paranoia
we can slip away
without making a sound
kind of like two ships
in the night and
what will it take to
bring a good person
to their knees
when life keeps running on low
and the options aren’t worth
the effort
so we’ll keep skipping stones
across the Sound
and wait to see what
bounces back from the other side…

© 2016 Trilby Yates