Oh there you are again making your grand entrance
Madame X waltzing in like an Olympic skater on ice – glide
Or maybe this time my own personal serial killer
Disguised as stability; slashing anything that brings me
to that moment – yet fleeting – of knowing the coast is clear
When I can remove the layers of my self applied sealant
Peeling away one layer at a time like a phyllo dough; delicately
Careful not to tare, savored for reuse; future application if need be
And each time my life begins to feel slightly lighter,
dark clouds part and the chains begin to loosen;
my heart beats at a normal pace without the elephant in the room,
that moves from the center of my chest to the easy chair in the corner
Fresh air and an ocean breeze swirl wrapping around me;
a blanket of comfort, no longer a noose
And those angel wings that flutter so often in my poetry;
gently drip holy water to fill my palms – my cup shall runneth over
My soul being feed, replenished by those same baby angels
Always remaining faithful to my secrets and wishes never told
I take a deep breath and it doesn’t hurt; I dare open my eyes
I see the beauty of my life and like a knife welding hurricane
it doesn’t sever my wings instead snaps them off midway
Just enough to leave something as a reminder – fantom pain
I reach out capturing bits of feathers…of my life;
to preserve them, a memento of who I was in that moment
Retracing the years, salvaging torn and tattered slivers of innocence
Found pieces, manipulating them to fit an altered image of self;
what ever that appears to be; one never truly knows
…what one does not know
And in that capsule of time; decisions are made with only two options
For me; it has always and remains to reveal or conceal
– another continuous theme
I am unable or unwilling to reveal; minus the fear of my demise
And to conceal has become my achilles heel…over time
Fear of the past; the haunting images are trap doors
The future holds no space and nightmares fill what is left
Leaving only wisps of a translucent love in-between

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