Heart aches uncontrollably

Feeling numb and very lost

So much of what we knew is in rubble

People pass by with hollow eyes –

They shudder too often without warning

I flinch and hold my breath when an airplane fly’s overhead

Sirens scream recreating that terrifying moment –

Flashbacks and denial walk hand in hand as if familiar lovers

How do we get beyond such a monumental tear?

The sound of an intentional ripping is heard in every corner of this city

Where is the light in the darkness; a beacon in the night?

We always played in the shadows – light and dark, our comrades

Now we have nothing to depend on, except the uncertainty

To my left is a firehouse

My eyes overflow

I can’t hide my sadness

Candles flicker in the evening’s light

Illuminating the stars and stripes

Our brothers, our sisters – their pictures

Images of those gone, while others remain

Leaving powerful love notes taped to windows

Begging God, their God to be kinder next time around

A priest passed by me

With the arms of the firefighters

Carrying his broken body to an alter

His head falls, amazingly peaceful

His face gentle and calm

A hallow of dust floated around his head

Like a sorrowful crown

His Rosary beads still in hand

Angel’s wings in full flutter

Guiding God’s soldier – taking him home

A few months later…

Some of the babies have been born

Bitter sweet rejoicing is felt around the world

Cries of the innocent are heard as they take their first breath

The child cries in all of us as it did when the band stopped

Playing our favorite songs in 1993 – a warning of what was yet to come

The songs repeat and fade in our minds – twirl and dance

In our desperation we instinctively and frantically

Reach out to hold the tune close

As it slips away again in 2001

Our hands linger in mid air for endless moments

Questioning, continually questioning…

It’s our dance

Our two-step

The footings never change –

The light in the dark will lead the way

We will faithfully follow

The blind leading the blind

We will listen as the mute speak for the deaf

The lame take their first steps

Our eyes could have been shut

Words never spoken

Our cries never heard

Instead we crawled on our bellies

Out from under the rubble…

We carried each other

We helped one another

We stood in a choking cloud of destruction

And walked up-right to meet the darkness

Face to unknown face

Walking in the direction of a beaming light

A beacon in the mist

Of our own clouded memories

Instantly became clear

As if God, a God had reached out

And sent all of us the same map –

Directions to a brighter future

All accepting unconditionally without question

The sheep being led to greener pastures

We walk with our hearts pinned to our sleeve

And share a battered sense of unity…

Trilby Yates, September 2001

© 2002 TrilbyYates